Your choice

It is choice – not chance – that determine your destiny. – Jean Nidetch.

Jean couldn’t have said it any better. I’ve been around for a while, and what I see is, that most people have got the wrong idea of me. They think it’s the other way around. That, I, am just random. They think I am the consequential result caused by their own free will. Others have a more fatalistic approach. Even the time, manner and place of when they sneeze is pre-destined. Let me tell you, I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t do shit like that. I’m more active.

I come in, when you find yourself at the tipping point…

Brad and Lisa are hanging out by the alley of a club. Lisa has her back up against the wall, and Brad is leaning in. His breath smells of alcohol, and he’s so close to her, she can see the redness of his eyes. “This has been a fun evening. Thanks for coming out,” he said.

Lisa tries to push him away from her, “You’re just drunk,” she replied.

“And so are you.” Brad leans in and brushes her hair away from her eyes. She sees reflected in his eyes, her yearning-and her guilt. In shame, she turns away. “Look at me,” he commands.

“Brad, don’t. Please.”

“Don’t deny it. You’re attracted to me.” He pulls up her right hand. “That ring on your finger doesn’t mean anything. You’re getting married in two days, and you’re drunk,” he turns her chin to face him, “Out here, all alone with me.”
Lisa’s heart starts beating faster, Am I really going to do this?

I enter, when you’re facing crossroads…

Danilo has handed in his resignation letter to his boss, a month ago, and they are presently working out the details of separation.

“We were very happy with you working here with us, Danilo,” says the boss, while leafing through some papers.
“We’re very sorry to lose you.”

“I had a great time here too. I learned a lot.” Danilo smiles.

“I know. So I’m offering you a new contract,” he hands over to Danilo the papers he was just going over. “It’s a permanent position, a higher one in fact. Essentially, it’s a promotion. You’ll get a substantial amount of pay raise. Effective, as soon as you agree.”

“Thank you, Sir. But as you know, I’m getting married in two days, in Italy. My future, and my future family, is going to be there.” Danilo got up “Your offer is generous but it’s not enough to make me stay in Brussels,” he said, as he extended his hand, signaling his departure.

“Good for you, you’re getting married. For your sake, I hope neither one of you is getting cold feet,” replied the boss, as he shook Danilo’s hand.

For a second, Danilo let his boss’ words sink in. Lisa has been acting weird lately, she says it's nothing. I don’t know what to think. I can’t help but feel she’s hiding something from me.

“This job opportunity, right here, this one comes once in a lifetime,” continued the boss as he was walking Danilo to the door. “You don’t have to give me an answer right away, but just think about it?”

I am there, when key moments present themselves….

Paolo was staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t get the days events out of his head. He had attended his first parole hearing and didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did.

“…good behavior. We have agreed for your early release…” the panelist voice echoed in his head.

Early release?

“You will be a free man tomorrow,” he continued. “We sincerely hope you’ve been rehabilitated. Have you given thought to what you’ll do when you leave?”

“No, sir,” Paolo answered. His head was still swimming.

“I suggest you think about it: what kind of like do you want to pursue once you’re back outside.”

Paolo’s thoughts were still mixed up. He thought of hamburgers and doing whatever it was he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it: sleeping, eating, running. But something was bothering him. What am I going to do with myself when I get out of here?

I am present, when important decisions need to be taken…

Jo was trying to understand what the doctor was saying, but couldn’t make sense of any of it.

“The results indicate that you have a 5% chance of conceiving a baby naturally. This just means that you’ll have a harder time getting pregnant. I understand that 25 years old is young and there is much you’d like to pursue. However, it’s best that you understand the seriousness of your condition and the options you have. As you grow older, the 5% chance that you have now will grow smaller and smaller. If you want to have kids, you can always adopt – if you wish you experience giving birth, then I suggest you get a move on. If there is no one right now in your life, you may wish to consider going to a sperm bank.” The doctor closed the file in front of her.

“Thank you for telling me all this," Jo began, fidgeting slightly. "I must admit, I am a bit overwhelmed. In order to have this baby – my own baby, when do I need to start putting the plan into action? Since, as you’ve mentioned, I don’t have anyone right now.”

“Jo, if you want to have your own baby, be in time to make it and bake it, without endangering your life and your baby’s life- you will have to have it within 12 months of this diagnosis - that means, this year.”

When you’re all alone at night, hiding in the dark, it’s my voice you hear asking you,

“What are you going to do now?”

Why everyone should have an organizer...

Charles Darwin had once said, “A man who dares to waste one hour of life
has not discovered the value of life.”

Hi, my name is Grace. I’m 32 years old, married to Mars and have two kids, ages: 5 and 6. I believe in making the most out of the time we have, which is why I have this Belle de Jour, power planner. With life being as crazy as it is, you don’t have an hour to waste. It’s amazing what you can accomplish in a day if you organize yourself well enough.

Don't believe me? Here's a sample of my typical day.

(click on image for better viewing)

Hey, at least I know when I'm having my next orgasm, can you say the same?

A night in my shoes

It was raining. Shitty, shitty weather, I thought to myself. I hated standing outside on the pavement in the rain at night, but I had a job to do. How cliché.

The television was blasting indoors. I stared hard at the living room window. I could barely make out a shape of a man lounging by the TV set. Judging from the noise coming from the TV, a game was on. Or at least, had just reached half time.

My man silhouette got up and switched the light on in the kitchen. Ah, he was preparing dinner. By the sounds of it, he was throwing some things together and simply sautéing it, and whistling in the background. Big mistake, didn’t anyone tell him it was bad luck to whistle while cooking?

I concentrated on the sound of his voice, the clarity of his tune. He was a young man, full of promise, not more than 30 years of age, living on his own. I gathered my will and exhaled deeply.

My man silhouette was inspired by me to bake a batch of cookies for dessert. He turned on the oven to pre-heat it, and I reminded him that his sauté dinner combo was about to burn. It was important to keep an even pressure on his soul. Too much, and I kill him without damning him. Too little and I lose him. He finished preparing his dinner and was about to turn off the stove. I concentrated on him a bit harder, I could feel his inner resistance ebb away with this conscience slightly puzzled. He lazily concluded he could turn off the oven after the game.

My man silhouette, fixed up his place in front of the TV. He was slightly confused on why he was taking his time, but I kept my breathing even, I didn’t want to startle him all together and start again. Half time was over and the second half began. My man silhouette ate his dinner contentedly while enjoying the game.

I kept a steady concentration on him. My efforts were rewarded when he was inspired to leave the dishes where he ate and just head towards his bedroom. I made sure, he didn’t even think of changing. At long last, he slept. He didn't trouble himself with the gas leaking from his oven. I encouraged him not to bother.

All this work made me hungry. I was wondering where to go when I heard his heart stop and his soul cry out. I smiled to myself and headed for the nearest bar. I was going to celebrate tonight. And after that, who knows? Maybe, I just might drop by and visit…. You!

Bill

Hey there, my name is Bill.
I was born right on this hill.
I love to eat barbeque grill
My girlfriend, Sue, is on the pill.

In the mornings, I start my day,
Doing yoga on a christmas sleigh.
It doesn't seem, as my body betrays,
Coz I eat fish and chips with mayonaise.

It's in the garden I like to be,
Toiling away, as you can see.
Although I'm smaller than the smallest tree.
Mushrooms can never be as tall as me.

Enter my house, and you will find.
Pictures of flowers of every kind,
Roses, Orchids, blooms on vines,
I love most the flower that tells the suns time.

I dream of the world beyond my hill,
What it's like to sunbathe in Brazil.
Or to even feel a skydiver's thrill.
It's nice to meet you, my name is Bill.

Beacon

The pitter-patter of her feet,
Echoed along the empty street.
Weaving, ducking, running along,
Comforted by singing her favorite song.

Away from THEIR reach, she must run,
Or THEY'll hide her forever from the sun.
Breathless, frightened but wanting to live,
Thinking of who she had to forgive.

"Mother, mother, why did you lie?
Why did you take what was precious in THEIR eyes?
Now THEY claim me for your sins.
Mother, mother, why did you give in?"

Further along she sought protection,
Not knowing though in which direction.
Hoping to find a miraculous aid,
With the choice that had to be made.

In the system, could she trust?
Would the men she find be just?
Would she knowingly betray her mother?
Aware they might not ever see each other.

Another way must be sought.
I could read what she thought.
In her mind I made aware,
Of how she needed to get there.

She made her way to the door,
Not at all feeling sure.
Was uncertain to go on.
Scared however, that THEY haven't gone.

She didn't notice the light so bright,
It was a blinding color of clear, clear white.
Towards it though, she walked along,
Feeling a sense that she belonged.

The church doors closed behind us both,
As my angel wings upheld the guardians oath.
In the air lingered rose perfume,
And into the light, she was consumed.

L'orologio

*tick*

The cuckoo clock ticked to itself,

"I must never forget me,

Moulded this way I am,

I will always be a tree.

In the forest whence I came,

I have beautiful memories,

Of starlit skies, of sunny days,

Even the humming of the bees.

But I am here, this is now,

Although resigned to my reality,

In the night I become,

The tree that was always me."

*tick*

I am the tree.

Uprooted from home.

Cut down.

Sanded.

Burned.

Incised.

Until THEY were satisfied.

I was shaped to be

something I am not.

But when you look at me,

See through my carvings and imperfections.

You see me for who I really am

And love me.

How could anything else matter?

*tick*

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."

--Lester Burnham, American Beauty